I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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