I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
