Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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