As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
