I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
