she was so not down for the gang bang
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize