I cockslap morals
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize