I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Come share oat with me in your robe
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
