I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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