I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Randomize
