I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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