am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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