We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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