You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
3pm strippers are depressing
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
