Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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