Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
