Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
