Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
