nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
True but thats because hes a fetus.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Do vagina's smell?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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