This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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