Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
