The maid of honor just puked.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
