So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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