she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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