Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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