Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
