You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
