i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
