I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
