Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
