whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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