Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
