what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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