i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
