We need to start having sex underwater more often.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
