I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
