Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm drive I can fine osifer
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
