You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
