Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
