At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
