we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
