I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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