consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
