coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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