those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
