Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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