i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
