Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I booty called her while she was in labor.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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