that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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