Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
