U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
