I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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