Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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