Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
