White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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