After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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