Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
