Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
