Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
