I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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