but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
