So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
