She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
