OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
