why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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